Draft Analysis - 2008

Gentleman (and Funktress). I would like to say this is the 6th annual draft analysis, but in reality, its something like the 4th, semi-annual edition. . Here it goes: . .

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Ashburn Yanks

Surprisingly good. Only one mistake (Michael Turner) and he might not really even be a mistake. Got lucky because even thought he tried to draft Jerricho "C(r)otchery" he actually ended up with "Cotchery" and the 1300 yrds 9 tds he is likley to bring to the table with Farve throwing to him. This team might could have been even better if Joe hadn't alerted me to the fact that ESPN.com fantasy hall of famer Earnest Grahm was in his queue in time for me to snatch him up--but his fallback to fellow Floridian Ronnie Brown could end up being good enough.

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Noteworthy: For those of you who weren't at my house on draft night, it is painful to watch Joe make picks. He doesn't know who half the players are, mispronounces the names of those he does, and he tries to "borrow" my player ranking material in the middle of each round--then gets surprised when I ask him for it back.

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Grade: A. Even a blind squirrl finds a nut once in a while, as the saying goes. But so many nuts at once? It was like watching those million monkeys sitting behind those million typewriters--but instead it was a turkey and a laptop hammering out a classic. Prediction: 10-3, regular season champ and BKFLL semi finals loser. .

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Big Smooth

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Mike has been itching to trade his first round pick for years, and pulled the trigger with trade slut Funk for the consensus #1 at #1 (LT) and Tony Romo at # 20 for Maurice Jones Drew and Tom Brady. Funk, unlike usual, doesn't get screwed but even with this move Mike is solid through the first seven rounds with the exception of a potentially forgivable case of homeritus of Fast Willie in the fourth (McGahee was still on the board). Nothing special the rest of the way and no real "value" picks in the latter rounds, which could hurt him if MoJo gets his 5'5'' ass finally figured out by the rest of the league and becomes a 1,000 combined yards, 7 td kinda guy. Brady is still very, very good this year, but doesn't throw anywhere near 50 TD's again, and if you don't believe me, see Dan Marino's 1985 stats, or Peyton Manning's 2005 stats.

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Notable: Santonio Holmes at # 41 was a nice I see him finishing at 1200 and 10 tds; a 2005 Santana Moss type season.

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Grade: B. Brady will be spongeworthy every week, but the wire will have to provide him nourishment to make up for his absenteeism during picks 9-13. Prediction: 7-6 regular season but loses in first round of the playoffs, since the pressures of having to maintain both his and his brother's rosters all season long will leave his depth being not very deep.

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Funktown Wild Broncos

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The swap with Wallace brought LT and Romo to Canton prematurely, and on the strength of that move alone makes this a very good team. A crop of WR that could pay huge dividends; I like Fitzgerald to have a monster year in '08 (100/1,500,/12) but couple of question marks surrond Steve Smith, and a bunch more around Marvin Harrision (the mustache means he's hiding something, btw), so I am not ready to get too excited about this team given it's potential depth issues. Felix Jones has a low "speed score" for those of us paying attention, but at #8 he's not terrible--if you are really into kick returners.

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Here we go again--with a twist. Always the homer, Funk makes a significant (but expected) blunder in the fifth with Selvin Young, hoping he will join the Bronco Back 1000 yard pantheon (please see picture--I made it myself--and notice Young isn't in it) but then comes back with a gusto in the 6th with Jonathan Stewart, who I predict will rush for 1,300+ and score 10 TDs. This was the #1 value pick of the draft, hands down.

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Grade: B+. The trade for LT brings this up from what otherwise would have been a flat B; just too many question marks around the WR corp. Prediction: 8-5 regular season record, losses in first round of playoffs. All bets are off, however, if all cylinders are clicking for the Wild ones, and if LT is LT and Smith and Fitzgerald come through, Funk could be one one to beat. Not really--I am just having a tough time getting the spacing to come out right between his and Bettcher's team review, and I needed to type in another sentence or two or it just didn't sit right. There, that's better.

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New Bern Confederates

. Andre Johnson at #24 had me thinking Bettch knew something the rest of us didn't, but long before the Greg Jennings acquistion in the 6th we all knew that the autodraft was on--and that Rudi was an inevitiability in the 8th. Speaking of Rudi...even though the Bengals cut him hours before Tim aquired him, it's possible Bettch's 56K modem won't make the roster update until week three and he realizes what's happened. ( I won't tell if you you don't, and let's see how long this goes for.) Who knows, maybe Ttim (two t's) does know something, Westbrook goes down early and Rudi goes for 800 and 8 scores for the Eagles; this year's Terry Allen for those of us with long memories.

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Grade: C-, on the strength of Stephen Jackson and Marshawn Lynch 1-2, the Confeds could start with a base of 35 points every week. That's a nice building block that nothing else is likley to get placed on. Prediction: 5-8 regular season and a second round toilet bowl loss.

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. Island Latte

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A head-scratcher with the Derrick Anderson homer pick at #39, as he would have likley still been around at #93 and quite frankly its a shame, because with a Peterson-Wayne 1-2, the Latte's could have had a very "Venti" draft indeed if they had grabbed Larry Fitzgerald or Willis McGahee instead. Calvin Johnson at #62 could end up working out quite nicely, and the better QB on this team (Shaub) was a nice value pick at #82.

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Digging Deeper: Anderson threw 10 int's in his last five games last year, it is really hard to throw the ball well in Cleveland after October, and his career 56.5% completion percentage is pretty bad. Basically, he is Eli Manning. He only has what statisticians refer to as a "modest" Lewin Career Forecast; you can look it up if you care to in Pro Football Prospectus 2006.

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Grade: B+. Anderson really ruined this for me (if you hadn't noticed) and I didn't get any "wows" down the line but it was a solid nonetheless. Prediction: 8-5 regular season, first round playoff loss. Par for the course for the Funktress, really, who may or may not actually be the person running this team--if y'all know what I mean.

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Ashburn Sweathogs

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Perhaps the worst first two picks in the history of the BKFFL's recorded history (save his own disasterous 2003 snafu--that was the draft where Funk hung each pick up on the wall in Rubino's office). Larry Johnson at # 8 could end up being "OK" but McFadden at #13 seems at least 10, and possibly 20 or even 30 slots to soon. Rounds 3 - 9 were the best on the board, hands down, earning this returning champ a... . .

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....Grade A-. Reality is this cat is the best thing going in the BKFFL in both baseball and football over the last two years. He is going to make this work in a big way. Prediction: 9-4 Regular season record, wins second straight BKFFL football title in a rematch with Rubino--but this time leaving no doubt and cruises to a 15+ point victory.

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Canukeyes

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All eyes are on the Canukeyes as the league holds its breath to see if this former titan can regain the stature he held from 2001-2005. Westbrook is either a latter day Tiki Barber, with continued 2000 total yard, 10 TD production capability for the next 2-4 years, or he is a smallish feature back who's constant nagging injuries are going to culiminate in a lost season and a rapid career decline. He's a good, but not a great pick at #3; I am glad I wasn't in that slot, personally. Besides that this was an "OK" draft, but nothing jumps out at me and its hard to get excited about players like Matt Forte and I am not yet convinced that Ryan Grant is really going to be as good as he looked last year.

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The way I see it: The Canukeye used to be really, really good every year. Now he's just an average player and though the romantic in me hopes he bounces back--just like I always want the Yankees, the Lakers and the Roman Catholic Chruch to bounce back after down spells or scandals--I am not so sure he will. .

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.. Grade: "a gentleman's B", but I hope I am wrong. Prediction: 6-7 regular season, or maybe 7-6. Either way, it's not notable in either direction and he maybe makes the playoffs, and maybe doesn't.

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. . Hounds

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Lost in the celebration of the new baby this week is the fact that this fire-crotch had his best draft ever--by far. His 1-3 are as good as anyone elses, and 1-4 might be as well. Cutler in round #5 sticks out like a small scab on a nice set of legs that is better left not picked at--so I won't.

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Fast Fact: Woody may weigh 25 lbs less than anyone else in the league, yet at the same time have more total muscle than anyone else in the league. . Grade: A/A-, and yes, I know I have given out a lot of good grades this year so clearly there is not a very well defined curve. Prediction: 6-7 Regular season, probably doesn't make the playoffs. Sure he drafted well, but he's still Woody, and he still isn't going to be makeing roster moves with any frequency after week three.

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. Minnesota Weiners Laurence Maroney is not the 14th best player in NFL, he might not even been the 44th best fantasy player so it was mistake # 1 to take him at that spot. Plaxico still has Eli throwing to him, so that was mistake # 2 at #34, and Edge is over the hill so that was mistake # 3 at #47. Other than that, the rest of the draft was sub-par. .

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The way I see it: Bottom line is that if you send your kids to day care they don't get the same love an attention that they would recieve if they were home with Mommy, and if you have your brother draft for you--this is what you should expect to end up with. Grade: C-/D+. Prediction: another toilet bowl season with no roster moves made after week five. Let's all hold that against him--and hope he holds us against him in return.

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Spongueworthies

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. Solid but uninspiring. There's no Adrian Peterson here his year, and a Frank Gore/MB III combo is not the same as the "two-horseman, onward-ho!" backfield of Edge and Faulk from '99. (Note to John Wallace--if I am referring to a running back that was starting in '99, and he was your third rounder in '08, there is a problem). Got confused, drafted himself next at QB in round three well before the run on second tier QB's was on, and then went to a backup and secondary reciever strategy from # 8 on. If the goal was to collect the most players capable of producing between 700-900 total yards on the season--he won--but I don't think that was the goal. .

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.. Reality Check: Nothing about this team inspires me. Click on his team and then hit the "projected stats" view for the season and you will see what I mean. He needs to make a big trade or find this year's Earnest Grahm on the wire or he's not going to live up to his expectations for himself. Since nobody in this league trades, the wire will have to be the answer--but the smart money says Celentano and I get there first if any stars emerge out of nowhere.

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Grade: B-/C+. Too bad if you don't like it; write you own analysis if you want to. Prediction: 7-6, squeaks into the playoffs, makes a run to the finals but doesn't have the horsepower to come within 15 points of the Sweathogs in the final game.